Friday, October 24, 2008

Worn Slick...

Okay, so I'm trying to figure out that Blogger stuff versus this Spaces stuff and it ain't as easy as I would like it to be. So I am updating both with the same crap. For the time being anyway... Feel free to comment wherever you like. You can comment anonymously on Blogger, just sign your name so I know it's you.

Finally got a call back from the cardiologist on C3. It appears that the total percentage of extra heart beats is less than it was 2 years ago, but, (always a but, isn't there?) this time there were a few instances of 2 extra heart beats in a row and a couple of instances of 3 extra heart beats in a row. "Don't be alarmed though." WTF? This is his heart we are talking about, don't be alarmed? Anyway, she said since he isn't having any symptoms we should probably just check him again in a year, but if he developed symptoms then we would probably be referred to a more 'specialized cardiologist'. "Don't be alarmed though." WTF? So I asked her what exactly are the 'symptoms' I am supposed to be looking for? They would consist of dizziness, passing out, heart palpitations or in other words - a friggin heart attack at 15! "Don't be alarmed though." One more time - WTF? Seriously, I'm not supposed to be alarmed?

In other C3 news, we won our football game again last night, which makes us still UNDEFEATED! Doing the happy dance... Two more games to go...

C2 went to the doctor yesterday, we had to re-schedule last weeks due to his 'flu' (more like he didn't want to get his ass out of bed). We finally got to discuss the issues of the shoulder and don't pass out here, because you guessed it, not good. He will now have to undergo nerve testing, which my understanding is that they place needles into various 'nerves' and then shoot electric currents through them to see which nerves are working and which are not or some shit like that. Rumor has it that this is not an enjoyable experience so I think I will skip that appointment... Unfortunately his muscles have atrophied and he has no strength in that arm/shoulder but has begun having shooting pains down his back and arm, thus the nerve testing. I know this really isn't a crisis, it just seems like a never ending marathon nightmare that won't stop.

C1 called me last night claiming that he was 'dying'. He has a cold. Told him he'd better get off his ass and go get some advil and cold medicine because I had no intention of driving all that way to help him out. He whined some more and said, "I will die alone in my apartment and you don't care." I told him that if I hadn't heard from him in like 5 days I'd drive out and check on him. He said, "Call first to make sure I'm really dead..." Loser.

I got suckered into watching my twin 3 year old nieces this weekend. Actually only Sunday afternoon through Monday early evening. However I received an email from my sister with 'instructions' on taking care of her children. TWO FULL TYPE WRITTEN PAGES!

Just for shits and giggles here are just a few of the highlights:

7:30am wake/potty/dress/eat breakfast/brush teeth/brush or fix hair
9:30am snack/potty
11:30am or 12:00pm eat lunch/potty
1:00pm QUIET TIME or NAP
2:00-3:00pm wake/potty/ snack/watch TV
5:30pm Dinner
7:30pm medicine/potty/Bath/pajamas + lotion/dry hair
8:30pm potty/bed

For the love of GAWD, did she think I wouldn't remember to let them pee every once in awhile?

If they want a drink between meals, they must stay in the kitchen. If at the park or on the go during snack time, they can have “goldfish” and water from a water bottle. They do not snack or drink in the car.

If you choose fast food (McDonalds or Chick-Fila), pick chicken nuggets and fruit. They can have fries but not a lot. Mary can have chocolate milk. Theresa will choose white milk.

We are SO going through the drive through at McDonalds and ordering a hamburger happy meal and they are going to eat those french fries in the back of the car with their MOUNTAIN DEW!

Bath time:
They sit on potty first
Fill with lukewarm water (90-100 degrees) to belly button. Wash body and hair, and really wash behind ears!
Drain soapy water and use cup to rinse with fresh water.

WTF? I have to test the friggin water? Thank the Lord that she told me how to bathe them because I have NEVER bathed a child before. And GAWD forbid we forget that damn potty thing again...

And my ALL time favorite:

Things to Note:
I have extra outfits packed. Just choose based on the weather.
Leader of the day (MWF – Mary & TTH Sat – Theresa) Sunday –GOD is leader
Mary has to have the purple sippy cup
Theresa likes peanut butter no jelly and Mary prefers Nutella sandwiches.
When Mary wants a “jelly” sandwich, she means Nutella sandwich spread
I suggest having them pick a timeout spot when they get settled in.
Please use timeout if necessary, and you can spank if you have to.
They are in a hitting phase, and they usually admit it. Automatic timeout.
Ask often if they need to go potty, but make them go every 2 hours or before a big activity.
They prefer dresses right now. Mary prefers brown and Theresa pink, but they can choose.
The girls are capable of using manners, so ask them to do it for you as well.
Mary tends to whine, you can say “You’re using a whine, try asking in a nice way.” or (my favorite), “Excuse me? I don’t understand Whinese.”

Shit, that POTTY thing again! These kids must spend 6 hours a day in the bathroom!

Go ahead and laugh your ass off, I am... Damn, now I have to pee...


Jane! said...

I guess it's only by accident that you managed to raise 3 kids to semi-maturity?

Anonymous said...

this one is my favorite:
Leader of the day (MWF – Mary & TTH Sat – Theresa) Sunday –GOD is leader

WTF is wrong with her??? She didn't tell you at exactly what time they poop- I think you need to about this schedule:

wake up
give them scissors and tell them to go crazy
teach them how to clean a gun- you are a texan right? ;) JK!
breakfast- BK- that super duper egg sandwich with fried hash browns
tv or maybe a PG movie, oh heck be crazy, PG 13
lunch- McDonalds- hamburgers and fries, milkshakes, and cookies
they do need a nap
you can drink wine during nap- actually have 2 drinks
oops! potty!
dinner- taco bell.
how's that?

Hawkeye Chick said...

That list? Seriously classic. You need to save that for the girls for when they're older. My goodness.

I'll cross my figures that C2's nerve testing goes well. I think you're right, don't go. He'll guilt you into something spendy after.

Enjoy the girls this weekend, you'll have to let us know if you ever make it out of the potty!!

Tracie said...

OMG Anal much? I'm guessing you and & sister are not much alike!

Just go buy some pullups and forget the potty thing as long as your going to feed them full of sugar & fast food, might as well screw everything.

That'll teach her to let you babysit!


jill said...

two full pages for watching them less than 24 hours? hahahahahahaha

Lulu said...

Wow! Your sis is OCD!

The Lady in Pearls said...

By any chance is your sisters' name "Motherhen"? I really think she is my sister. Either that, or it has to do with the fact that they didn't have their kids one at a time, like the rest of us.

In case Motherhen is reading this, I'm only kid-ding! You are a fantastic mutha'!