Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Phone Calls after 10 PM

Being the mother of three darling (cough-cough) male children I have learned the hard way that no good news ever comes via the telephone after 10:00 pm. It is most certainly never someone calling just to say "HI" or "Miss you and Love you MOM" - no, no, no, it is always most definitely a bad call, a very bad call.

Since I pride myself on having common sense, one would ponder why I actually ANSWER the phone after 10:00 pm? Wouldn't it make my life easier if I just ignored that ringing sound and rolled over and went back to sleep? Maybe, subconsciously, I get some mysterious, perverted pleasure of jumping straight out of bed in the wee hours of the night, causing my heart to pump fast enough to produce a major coronary attack, sweat beading around my upper lip and pouring from my underarms along with the instant feeling of self induced vomit rising in the back of my throat? Do you think that's it? Hmmm...

Thankfully, for the short term anyway, the after 10:00 pm phone calls are at a rare minimum. With a 15, almost 16 males species still living in the adobe, I know those days are numbered...

Sunday, approximately 2:38 AM, well not really approximately, exactly at 2:38 AM, because I always LOOK at the clock when the phone rings in the middle of the night so that I can pronounce my own time of death... C2 called to inform us that his car had been stolen. Stolen right out of his very own parking lot. That gated, secured and monitored parking lot. Hmmm...

Needless to say, he was a little irrational at the time, well actually his butt was not only irrational but a little on the tipsy side. Okay, a little more than tipsy, whatever... so the story was a little, shall we say, convoluted? I have yet to figure out why he felt compelled to wake me up at that time to tell me the news. Yes, he was upset but wouldn't the car still be missing at say, 8:00 am? Hmmm...

All the proper procedures have taken place, the police were summoned and a report was written, the insurance company was called and a claim filed and as of today, nothing. I keep wishing that they find the car and I don't really care if it's stripped bare, just let it be able to be repaired because the alternative is not pretty. But then getting screwed over is never pretty is it?

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

And for today...

Have absolutely nothing to say but didn't want to stop the streak, so THANK YOU BECCA, you may now consider yourself officially TAGGED. Muwahahahahaha!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Stupid Tags...

In response to THE tag... and has anyone noticed 3 posts in a row? I'm just sayin...

8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Summer and sunshine, well until it gets to friggin hot.
2. Grandbabies
3. Friday night football
4. A vacation, whenever that is
5. It’s Tuesday, so what else, The Biggest Loser…
6. The weekend
7. Retirement
8. This is hard – I don’t know…

8 things I did yesterday:
1. Worked
2. Had a salad for lunch
3. Worked late, again
4. Wrote a scathing letter to an insurance company and got my point across
5. Found the deck design that I want and asked for bid
6. Ate Mexican food for dinner, that diet lasted long…
7. Watched Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters and Keeping up with the Kardasians
8. POSTED a blog entry

8 things I wish I could do:
1. Be a millionaire
2. Live on the beach
3. In a mansion
4. With a pool
5. Own a yacht
6. Park my yacht at my mansion on the beach
7. Have the perfect body without working out
8. Get a nose job

8 shows I watch:
1. The Biggest Loser
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. How I Met Your Mother
5. Lost
6. Private Practice
7. Little People Big World
8. Office

8 people I tag:
1. Sarah – because I’m mean
2. Hawkeye Chick - ditto
3. Betsy- because you need to get back to blogging- where the hell are you woman? AND because Connie did…
4. Patsy – ditto #2
5. Bev – ditto #4
6. Tricia – ditto #5
7. Lulu – ditto #6
8. Tracie – ditto #7
9. Jane! - because I skipped something above...

Monday, April 20, 2009

The Girl and The Girl

I know that I have been slacking lately but Connie that DOES NOT mean that I will be dealing with your tag today, wench...

It does however mean, that I forgot to mention that I finally met THE GIRL!

Hubby and C3 went out of town last weekend to a football camp and since I am the wild woman that I am (right...) I called C1 and asked him if he would like to go to dinner on Friday night and bring THE GIRL. He gladly accepted and plans were made. He tried to back out of it on Thursday with an excuse that THE GIRL had already made plans to go out with an old friend (uh, helloooo, at 25, you do NOT have old friends, maybe at my age...) and wanted to know if I could rearrange my schedule. GUESS what my answer was?

So the plan was that they would come pick me up at 7:30 and we would head out to a nice seafood restaurant. Thankfully I had the day off and decided to go to the mall to seek out THE perfect outfit to one up THE GIRL. Me, shopping at the mall, what next? Managed to find a good outfit, that said 'Mom' but definitely 'Hot Mom' then went and had my nails done, got a pedicure and took my time divaing myself up and then sat and waited and waited and waited. They finally arrived at 8:45 and luckily for THE GIRL, I can honestly blame this on my own child.

I greeted her with a big ol' Texas hug (thought I'd throw her right off) even though I'm not a hugger unless I know someone. Think that shock effect worked well... Dinner went well and after a cosmo (or more) my nerves were settled. And I actually liked her. Couldn't find any fault with her, she was definitely more nervous than me and wasn't a huge conversationalist but admittedly I was on top of my game and didn't give her much opportunity. Score Kat!

She's cute, not as cute as the pictures I had seen and she definitely didn't go shopping for an outfit to impress me, hmmm... A little on the thin side, or maybe that was just my jealousy and my being on the not so thin side... But anyway, so far, it's been a little over a week and they are still dating, so I think we can officially rename her so she will now be called 'M.'

That would be because we now have a new THE GIRL but this one would be C2's...
Don't know her name yet nor have I met her, but I have seen pictures. She's cute, blonde (darn), a college graduate (yea) and employed (double yea). They seemed to have hit it off and C2 is smitten. Smitten enough to tell his Dad, that she 'might be the one...' Of course time will tell and until then she is now THE GIRL.
Could this mean, would it happen, is it possible that maybe someday I might actually get to be a grandma? Yep, I doubt it too...

Friday, April 17, 2009

And Today... Sweet Revenge

I learned something yesterday, there is ONE slightly good thing about menopausal rages. They can actually scare asshole husbands into submission...

Hubby has been pouty and pissy about the hours I've been keeping at the old J.O.B. He tried to say that he 'felt' (like he actually has feelings) that I loved my job more than my family. Truth be told in man language this means - "I miss you being at my beck and call and having dinner on the table every single night and having to fend for myself because I am a lazy male and can't do or think for myself."

His childish antics haven't exactly been sitting well with me for several reasons. First, the last time I looked we pretty much make the same amount of money and I'd be just as happy to live on his salary and be the diva I deserve to be. Second, the last time I looked I was not his personal slave and at the age of 50 the man should be able to make a meal or two on his own, pick up after himself and take care of a 15 year old kid. Third, what makes him think I ENJOY the hours I've been keeping? Yep, I really want to work 12 hour days and deal with idiots until my head explodes, it's my passion. Men are so stupid.

He made the random mistake yesterday afternoon of asking me a smart-ass question. "Are you planning on going to C3's district track meet or are you planning on working late, again?"

Oh. No. He. Didn't!

All my bottled up hormonal rage came pouring out, loud and clear, over the telephone, sitting in my office, with employees running for cover. It was not pretty. But it worked, for the time being, and I am back on top of my diva pedestal and being treated like the queen I am. So today my plan is to take a long afternoon nap, with the air turned down, and the thunderstorms rocking me to sleep and Hubby will get off work in time to pick C3 up at school. Ahhh... feeling better already.

Score one menopausal rage.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

And Today... MEN SUCK

Really, there's not much more to say because the title says it all. MEN SUCK. Particularly men in the shape of husbands. I would rant more however I am currently suffering a hot flash along with an intense rage to murder someone and the sweat pouring off of me must be mopped up before some employee slips and falls and sues the company or something...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Menopause Sucks

  • I'm not unhappy, yet I'm not happy.
  • I'm not sad, yet I feel no joy.
  • I'm lethargic, yet I'm not tired.
  • I'm bored, yet I have plenty to do.
  • I want to write, yet I have nothing to say.
  • I want to exercise, yet I just sit on my ass
  • I want to talk to people, yet I cringe every time the phone rings.
  • I don't want to rage at people, yet I'd like to claw someones eyes out right now.
  • I want drugs, yet I don't want drugs.
  • I want to be not hot and sweaty, yet I freeze when I turn the air on.

I could go on and on, yet it is suffice to say Menopause SUCKS...