Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Diva Speaks...

Being a certified DIVA (shut up, I have papers to prove it) I am all about the do's and don'ts of fashion etiquette. Why I practically made most of them up! There are RULES people! There is a time and a place for every outfit, every accessory, and every shoe. I've slipped a few times in recent years, like last week taking C3 to school at 7:15 am with wet hair, but in my defense I did a quick up-do and wore my Jackie-O sunglasses, lest someone recognize me... Just ask a few of my friends, my opinions on choices of outfits and SHOES run freely. I don't offer these opinions to be mean or anything, but because I want all my friends and fellow woman-kind to have their true DIVA shine through. It's not just a look, it's a whole personality.

So, today I saw that there is apparently a big hoopla because the Prez's wife, the First Lady, had the audacity to wear SHORTS that showed her LEGS while visiting the Grand Canyon on vacation last week. Puhleazzzeeee... STFU!

Any true DIVA knows that in certain situations it is perfectly acceptable to wear shorts whether you are the Queen of Sheba or the First Lady. Uh, hello, visiting the Grand Canyon in the 100 degree heat qualifies as one of those times. She's NOT the Messiah or anything special besides being the First Lady and if you people haven't seen legs before then get a frickin grip! Maybe there is some secret code book that says it's unconstitutional or something, but then none of us would be wearing shorts now would we? GET OVER IT!

Of course, I do have some issues about 'THE' outfit that she choose and a little bit of advice for next time...

First and foremost, no disrespect here, but us larger gals probably should make sure the scale of our outfit does not accentuate our um, largeness... Those shorts were hideous and looked like she'd had them in her drawer for about 20 years... A nice pressed pair of Bermuda's would have worked here.

The buttoned shirt as a cover-up, so 80's, tres' tacky... She should have tried something a little more flowy with a nice bright print. I mean yes, she is touring the Grand Canyon, but was she planning on digging another hole and needed the extra pockets?

Did anyone but me notice that she was NOT wearing a bra with her little cami/t-strap shirt? Mmmm, bad, bad, bad. We always wear a push up bra even under the cami... gravity is not always our friend.

And the hair? Honey, that hair do is only to be worn while taking off our make-up and moisturizing before bed. That is definitely not a public do... No matter how hot it is, we always do our do!

Finally, and I saved the worst for last, the SHOES! DEAR GAWD!!!! Sneakers/tennis shoes were made with ONE purpose in mind, exercise. There is NO other reason to wear them and I don't think you were planning on doing any jumping jacks in the Canyon now were you? With so many other CUTE, yet comfortable, options available to you, WHY, oh WHY, did you wear sneakers? Yuk!



8 comments:

flooz said...

Wow, it is a LOT of work to be a diva.

Bev said...

No kidding. It was much ado about nothing. However, I think you gave her some good advice about her choices.

Tracie said...

You're so funny! I need you in the morning when I get ready for work!

Small Town Girl said...

She looks like a normal person to me. I wouldn't think twice if I saw someone dressed like that out touristing!

And the hair...she has it in a ponytail with a baseball cap. Correct me if I'm wrong but don't you have a picture of yourself with the exact same look?? :)

Hawkeye Chick said...

Did Sarah just call you out?? :) Hahaha, I haven't seen the picture yet so I best go find it before I give my opinion. PS..bermudas look retarded on me.

JQ_Brat said...

i am so glad i am not a diva. i wear my nikes everyday. i am seriously lacking in the shoe department. yes, there were better choices for her clothing but there wasn't anything seriously wrong with what she was wearing. now, if she had been wearing daisy dukes and a bandanna top then yeah, we would have had an issue.

giggles said...

i could never do your Diva thing...Its WAY too much work. lol

Jane! said...

Where's the slide show?
I totally missed this particular scandal.
btw - I'm going to perform my annual wearing of white pants after Labor Day JUST for you.
:o)
I think my youngest daughter must be yours.