Phone Calls after 10 PM

Being the mother of three darling (cough-cough) male children I have learned the hard way that no good news ever comes via the telephone after 10:00 pm. It is most certainly never someone calling just to say "HI" or "Miss you and Love you MOM" - no, no, no, it is always most definitely a bad call, a very bad call.


Since I pride myself on having common sense, one would ponder why I actually ANSWER the phone after 10:00 pm? Wouldn't it make my life easier if I just ignored that ringing sound and rolled over and went back to sleep? Maybe, subconsciously, I get some mysterious, perverted pleasure of jumping straight out of bed in the wee hours of the night, causing my heart to pump fast enough to produce a major coronary attack, sweat beading around my upper lip and pouring from my underarms along with the instant feeling of self induced vomit rising in the back of my throat? Do you think that's it? Hmmm...


Thankfully, for the short term anyway, the after 10:00 pm phone calls are at a rare minimum. With a 15, almost 16 males species still living in the adobe, I know those days are numbered...

Sunday, approximately 2:38 AM, well not really approximately, exactly at 2:38 AM, because I always LOOK at the clock when the phone rings in the middle of the night so that I can pronounce my own time of death... C2 called to inform us that his car had been stolen. Stolen right out of his very own parking lot. That gated, secured and monitored parking lot. Hmmm...

Needless to say, he was a little irrational at the time, well actually his butt was not only irrational but a little on the tipsy side. Okay, a little more than tipsy, whatever... so the story was a little, shall we say, convoluted? I have yet to figure out why he felt compelled to wake me up at that time to tell me the news. Yes, he was upset but wouldn't the car still be missing at say, 8:00 am? Hmmm...

All the proper procedures have taken place, the police were summoned and a report was written, the insurance company was called and a claim filed and as of today, nothing. I keep wishing that they find the car and I don't really care if it's stripped bare, just let it be able to be repaired because the alternative is not pretty. But then getting screwed over is never pretty is it?

And for today...

Have absolutely nothing to say but didn't want to stop the streak, so THANK YOU BECCA, you may now consider yourself officially TAGGED. Muwahahahahaha!

Stupid Tags...

In response to THE tag... and has anyone noticed 3 posts in a row? I'm just sayin...

8 things I'm looking forward to:
1. Summer and sunshine, well until it gets to friggin hot.
2. Grandbabies
3. Friday night football
4. A vacation, whenever that is
5. It’s Tuesday, so what else, The Biggest Loser…
6. The weekend
7. Retirement
8. This is hard – I don’t know…

8 things I did yesterday:
1. Worked
2. Had a salad for lunch
3. Worked late, again
4. Wrote a scathing letter to an insurance company and got my point across
5. Found the deck design that I want and asked for bid
6. Ate Mexican food for dinner, that diet lasted long…
7. Watched Desperate Housewives, Brothers & Sisters and Keeping up with the Kardasians
8. POSTED a blog entry

8 things I wish I could do:
1. Be a millionaire
2. Live on the beach
3. In a mansion
4. With a pool
5. Own a yacht
6. Park my yacht at my mansion on the beach
7. Have the perfect body without working out
8. Get a nose job

8 shows I watch:
1. The Biggest Loser
2. Grey’s Anatomy
3. How I Met Your Mother
5. Lost
6. Private Practice
7. Little People Big World
8. Office

8 people I tag:
1. Sarah – because I’m mean
2. Hawkeye Chick - ditto
3. Betsy- because you need to get back to blogging- where the hell are you woman? AND because Connie did…
4. Patsy – ditto #2
5. Bev – ditto #4
6. Tricia – ditto #5
7. Lulu – ditto #6
8. Tracie – ditto #7
9. Jane! - because I skipped something above...

The Girl and The Girl

I know that I have been slacking lately but Connie that DOES NOT mean that I will be dealing with your tag today, wench...

It does however mean, that I forgot to mention that I finally met THE GIRL!

Hubby and C3 went out of town last weekend to a football camp and since I am the wild woman that I am (right...) I called C1 and asked him if he would like to go to dinner on Friday night and bring THE GIRL. He gladly accepted and plans were made. He tried to back out of it on Thursday with an excuse that THE GIRL had already made plans to go out with an old friend (uh, helloooo, at 25, you do NOT have old friends, maybe at my age...) and wanted to know if I could rearrange my schedule. GUESS what my answer was?

So the plan was that they would come pick me up at 7:30 and we would head out to a nice seafood restaurant. Thankfully I had the day off and decided to go to the mall to seek out THE perfect outfit to one up THE GIRL. Me, shopping at the mall, what next? Managed to find a good outfit, that said 'Mom' but definitely 'Hot Mom' then went and had my nails done, got a pedicure and took my time divaing myself up and then sat and waited and waited and waited. They finally arrived at 8:45 and luckily for THE GIRL, I can honestly blame this on my own child.

I greeted her with a big ol' Texas hug (thought I'd throw her right off) even though I'm not a hugger unless I know someone. Think that shock effect worked well... Dinner went well and after a cosmo (or more) my nerves were settled. And I actually liked her. Couldn't find any fault with her, she was definitely more nervous than me and wasn't a huge conversationalist but admittedly I was on top of my game and didn't give her much opportunity. Score Kat!

She's cute, not as cute as the pictures I had seen and she definitely didn't go shopping for an outfit to impress me, hmmm... A little on the thin side, or maybe that was just my jealousy and my being on the not so thin side... But anyway, so far, it's been a little over a week and they are still dating, so I think we can officially rename her so she will now be called 'M.'

That would be because we now have a new THE GIRL but this one would be C2's...

Don't know her name yet nor have I met her, but I have seen pictures. She's cute, blonde (darn), a college graduate (yea) and employed (double yea). They seemed to have hit it off and C2 is smitten. Smitten enough to tell his Dad, that she 'might be the one...' Of course time will tell and until then she is now THE GIRL.

Could this mean, would it happen, is it possible that maybe someday I might actually get to be a grandma? Yep, I doubt it too...

And Today... Sweet Revenge

I learned something yesterday, there is ONE slightly good thing about menopausal rages. They can actually scare asshole husbands into submission...

Hubby has been pouty and pissy about the hours I've been keeping at the old J.O.B. He tried to say that he 'felt' (like he actually has feelings) that I loved my job more than my family. Truth be told in man language this means - "I miss you being at my beck and call and having dinner on the table every single night and having to fend for myself because I am a lazy male and can't do or think for myself."

His childish antics haven't exactly been sitting well with me for several reasons. First, the last time I looked we pretty much make the same amount of money and I'd be just as happy to live on his salary and be the diva I deserve to be. Second, the last time I looked I was not his personal slave and at the age of 50 the man should be able to make a meal or two on his own, pick up after himself and take care of a 15 year old kid. Third, what makes him think I ENJOY the hours I've been keeping? Yep, I really want to work 12 hour days and deal with idiots until my head explodes, it's my passion. Men are so stupid.

He made the random mistake yesterday afternoon of asking me a smart-ass question. "Are you planning on going to C3's district track meet or are you planning on working late, again?"

Oh. No. He. Didn't!

All my bottled up hormonal rage came pouring out, loud and clear, over the telephone, sitting in my office, with employees running for cover. It was not pretty. But it worked, for the time being, and I am back on top of my diva pedestal and being treated like the queen I am. So today my plan is to take a long afternoon nap, with the air turned down, and the thunderstorms rocking me to sleep and Hubby will get off work in time to pick C3 up at school. Ahhh... feeling better already.

Score one menopausal rage.

And Today... MEN SUCK

Really, there's not much more to say because the title says it all. MEN SUCK. Particularly men in the shape of husbands. I would rant more however I am currently suffering a hot flash along with an intense rage to murder someone and the sweat pouring off of me must be mopped up before some employee slips and falls and sues the company or something...

Menopause Sucks

• I'm not unhappy, yet I'm not happy.
• I'm not sad, yet I feel no joy.
• I'm lethargic, yet I'm not tired.
• I'm bored, yet I have plenty to do.
• I want to write, yet I have nothing to say.
• I want to exercise, yet I just sit on my ass
• I want to talk to people, yet I cringe every time the phone rings.
• I don't want to rage at people, yet I'd like to claw someones eyes out right now.
• I want drugs, yet I don't want drugs.
• I want to be not hot and sweaty, yet I freeze when I turn the air on.

I could go on and on, yet it is suffice to say Menopause SUCKS...

Blue Northern

Betsy, what are you from Minnesota or something? This is just for you....

The term blue norther(n) denotes a weather phenomenon where a rapidly moving cold front that causes temperatures to drop quickly 20 to 30 degrees with heavily blowing winds and that often brings with it precipitation followed by a period of blue skies and cold weather. Due to the flat lands in Texas, it is said that it is possible to see the cold front coming from miles away and one can actually watch the clouds that form the cold front as they engulf the blue sky.

What is peculiar to Texas is the term itself. The derivation of blue northern is unclear; at least three folk attributions exist. The term refers, some say, to a northern that sweeps "out of the Panhandle under a blue-black sky" that is, to a cold front named for the appearance of its leading edge. Another account states that the term refers to the appearance of the sky after the front has blown through, as the mid-nineteenth-century variant "blew-tailed norther" illustrates. Yet another derives the term from the fact that one supposedly turns blue from the cold brought by the front. Variants include blue whistler, and in Oklahoma, blue darter and blue blizzard. Though the latter two phrases are found out-of-state, blue northern itself is a pure Texasism. The dramatic effects of the blue norther have been noted and exaggerated since Spanish times in Texas. But that the blue norther is unique to Texas is folklore.

Much ado about nothing...

Believe it or not, work is still kicking my butt on a daily basis. So much so that I am actually planning on working tomorrow. ME, working on a Saturday, voluntarily, what is the world coming to? Seriously need some quiet time with nobody bugging me or phones ringing so that MAYBE I can at least get organized.

I just finished catching up on every one's blogs, I think. I haven't been blog walking in so long! I was actually feeling bad about not checking up on all of you to make sure you were all okay (even though I have been the biggest slacker in posting) but guess what I found out - most of YOU were slacking too and I bet you didn't even miss me!

Spent today at a MARATHON track meet and did not have a good time. For some asinine reason they started it at 1:00 in the afternoon, telling us it would keep it from lasting so long (the last one ended at 12:30 AM). So I had to leave work at noonish and drive to friggin DALLAS, gah! and got to sit in the rain, watch and feel a blue northern come in, and literally froze my arse off. It was 77 degrees when I arrived there and 42 when we finally left at 9 flippin 30 PM!

Just a little side note to the powers to be at track meets, starting it 4 hours EARLY actually made it last LONGER. Someone explain THAT one to me... Okay so we got home at 10:30 or so, not 12:30 but I had to be there at 1:00, not 5:00, and they don't sell fish in concession stands so I had to eat soggy, processed cheese nachos for my Friday Lenten dinner instead of going to some nice seafood restaurant, hmpff...

Okay, didn't really have anything to say and I am too tired to bitch about anything else, so hola! my friends, catch ya later....

My 25 random things plus some...

1. I am lucky to still be married to my best friend and after 27 years I still kind of like him.
2. Well most of the time anyway.
3. I hated the movie ‘The Bucket List’ mainly because I never could look at Jack Nicholson after the movie ‘The Shining.’
4. I have my own Bucket List.
5. Contrary to popular belief, experiencing the joys of menopause is not one of the items listed.
6. Ironically, due to the joys of menopause, my youngest son and I are growing our first mustache together.
7. When I was young I wanted to be the next Stevie Nix.
8. Sadly, I cannot carry a tune.
9. But, I would have looked damn good!
10. I could live the rest of my life happily as a hermit.
11. If I had cable tv, a dvr and internet connection.
12. And a pool and lived near a large body of water.
13. And had unlimited supplies of Eskimo Pies.
14. I am addicted to ‘The Biggest Loser.’
15. I am also addicted to watching this show while stuffing my face with Eskimo Pies.
16. I have the best in-laws in the world.
17. Sometimes I think they like me more than their real children.
18. I take joy in pointing this out to my sibling in-laws and husband.
19. I always wanted to be a Great American Novelist.
20. I started a book once.
21. The title was, ‘The Joys of Motherhood: How I Survived the Upbringing of Three Boys in Today’s Society Without Succumbing to Alcoholism, Drug Addiction or Murder.’
22. After the title, there was really nothing left to say.
23. I love all three of my children with all my heart and wouldn’t trade one of them for the world.
24. Today.
25. My middle son’s pet name for me is ‘Satan.’
26. My pet name for him is ‘Spawn.’
27. I have a great job.
28. They pay me way more than I’m worth.
29. Please do not tell them this.
30. I have brunette hair.
31. Today.
32. I’d make a great comedian.
33. As long as nobody watched me.
34. I hate daylight savings time.
35. I think we should always stay on the reverse cycle.
36. I like it when it gets dark at 5:30 p.m.
37. It gives me a legitimate reason to go home and get in my pajamas.
38. I never have regretted that I didn’t have any girl children.
39. I wouldn’t know what to do with a girl.
40. Actually there is only room for one diva in my house.
41. I do however love all my nieces greatly.
42. I take great pride in being the favorite aunt.
43. I know it hurts my sister’s feelings, but too bad for them.
44. I AM the favorite aunt.
45. I have great sister-in-laws.
46. I think of them as my sisters, truly.
47. Lately I’ve begun to think that I am turning into my mother.
48. This causes major panic attacks.
49. I never did this tag because I didn’t think I could come up with 25 items.
50. Now I can’t seem to stop.

Just one more reason to send me over the edge...

About a year ago I decided to buy a new computer. I had tons of pictures on my outdated 10 year old computer that I didn't want to lose and being a cheap ass I didn't want to pay someone extra money to come transfer all my stuff to the new computer.

So, being the bright genius that I always think I am, I discovered that through my Internet service provider, I had FREE capabilities of uploading ALL of my photos to be forever saved on the world wide web. It was pretty cool too since the same Internet service provider was also my cable TV provider and I had a whole channel on my TV dedicated to seeing my pictures! Too cool for school!

Now I am not one to often go back and look at these old photos, but just last night I went searching for that ONE photo that I needed to share with an old friend. Went to my f.l.i.c.k.r. (now more appropriately known as flucker) account only to discover that as of January of this year this is no longer a FREE service and if I ever wanted to see my pictures again, I had to pay a $24.95 ransom for the privilege of looking at them. SON OF A ...

So today, just in case I thought it couldn't get any worse, and needed just one more excuse to drive me over the edge, I get to copy and save, ONE by frickin ONE the 1,268 photos of my family and friends and vacations and holidays and so forth and so on for the past 6 friggin years onto my computer so that I can quite possibly crash the hard drive by overloading it with 1,268 additional pictures.

Since the ransom affords me 1 year of free looking at my pictures, MY PICTURES, or the opportunity to purchase MY PICTURES, I figure if I take my time and download 3.57 pictures per day, I should have all of MY PICTURES back in my possession, where they belong, before having to pay another ransom. SON OF A ...


Frickin sob's - Flick THIS!

And on the 12th day her head spun like linda blair's...

(Sorry Jane!, stole part of your heading but maybe that will make Junie comment here for you again tomorrow...)


So today was Monday. The day AFTER what was supposed to be two relaxing days of time off from the hell J.O.B. But, today was Monday.

Tomorrow I may just very well put VODKA in my water mug and see how that works, because the water ain't quite doing the trick. And if the Big Guy dares come in my office and suggests one more time that I either A) learn to delegate or B) should just take a few minutes and clear my desk and then maybe I could get something accomplished, then I probably won't have to worry about the J.O.B. any longer because I will be on trial for a serial killing...

Had a professional photographer in today to snap some action shots. This was me at around 9 am:

Needless to say, there was no afternoon shots taken. Well there were but only the ones that appeared on the news:

They say, tomorrow's another day...

My Day

when work gets in the way of life...

Actually nothing really exciting is going on in my life right now for which I am thankful because my work life is sucking the big one and I'd be pissed if it was messing my personal life up. Damn that was a long sentence...


Unfortunately one of our employees has come down with a serious illness. Unfortunately that means I am doing her job and my job and 'tis the season to make the big deals happen... It's hard enough to pretend to do all the work I do on a regular basis without having to pretend to all my work PLUS her work too! And so it sucks to be me, and yes I would like some cheese with my whine...


One thing I hate about this double duty is the working late and I'm tired (well also I'm lazy and this is seriously messing with my sitting on my fat ass and watching mindless tv). Monday night I didn't get home until after 6:30, last night it was 8:30 and tonight 6:15. That blows!

Something else that blows is because of these long hours I have missed an opportunity to meet THE GIRL yet again. You see, C1 is currently in Mexico working some deals to open a few of his gyms in Cancun (now wouldn't THAT suck to have to go visit my son in CANCUN?) and last night my niece called me and asked me if I wanted to meet her and THE GIRL for happy hour. The opportunity to not only meet THE GIRL on my terms, without C1, but to do it with the protection of my niece would have been great! But no, foiled again.

Speaking of nieces, one of my 17,049 nieces became engaged on Valentine's Day! Isn't that sweet? A little too mushy for me, but I am happy for her and extremely excited for her.

And speaking of fat asses, which I believe I mentioned above, I won't give you the ACTUAL number of pounds I gained while cruising the seas, but let's just say it was in the DOUBLE type number range. I can actually see my fat ass following me, so I started a diet Monday. THAT is not going so well, because, well because I am FRIGGIN starving to death. Cutting ones daily calorie intake by some odd 200% tends to make me grouchy on top of whiney... Just warning you.

That my friends is my life, must head off to bed now so I can work another 12 hour day tomorrow. Now where in the hell is that cheese?

Quote of the Day

"YES, I know I have something on my forehead..."

WTF People!

My dear friends, this is a chicken:




I don't know WTF this is, but it ain't no chicken...

Cruising Day Eight - the end of the line

We are finally at the Port in Galveston!  Our scheduled departure is not until 10:00 am but I am up and at 'em at 7:00 am - I want OFF this boat!  Have my last day of coffee on my balcony, and take my final, parting shot:

However I had to RUSH back inside to change into sweats and tennis shoes because it was 42 friggin degrees!  Spent the rest of the morning hurrying up and waiting and standing in long line after long line.  It took FOREVER to get off that damn boat.  The whole process took us until NOON to finally get to our car for the long drive home.

Although it was a stressful process, only because I wanted OFF that damn boat, it was a wonderful feeling to be back on land, even though I knew it would be at least another 6 hours before I was finally HOME!

I don't think I would ever take a long cruise like this again, I'm too much of a homebody to be gone that long, I do admit that it was a good time.  As much as I dreaded this trip and thought I would never make it through, I am glad that I let myself enjoy it.  Just don't tell anyone!

Cruising Day Seven

Slept in this morning until 10:30, this rocking and swaying of the boat is really relaxing to me and I have slept like a baby all week.  Had room service breakfast again (yes I did this everyday except one, and yes I can be anti-social in the morning.)  Still no outside contact but not willing to pay $1 per minute to use the boat's computer...

Got up and dressed and the weather was too cool for pool time so just went exploring the ship.  Did some shopping again, met some people for lunch, went to the casino and threw some money away and then headed back to my room for some napping.  Got all my bags packed, I am SO ready to get off this damn ship.  I have really had a great time but it is past time to go home.  I miss my baby and actually missing C1 and C2.  Need to get home soon!

I finished packing up and I am taking my time getting ready for dinner.  Decided to sit on my balcony and catch the sunset, something I haven't taken the time to do yet.  It is breathtaking:

Though my camera did not do it justice!

Got ready for our final dinner and I'm just not feeling the desire to be social tonight.  Did manage to take my camera and catch a few shots:

 

This is actually my little brother and his wife, one of my bestest friends, who happens to be our travel agent.  It was nice to spend time with them among the craziness of all the agents!

 

Here's a shot of me, does it appear to you that I am TRYING to act like I am having a good time?  I'm not sure my fake smile was working here...

But, this one, this is a genuine smile!  Although I can see the fatigue on my face.

If you have ever been on a cruise you know that every night you get some 'animal' made out of towels.  Every morning all my fellow passengers would share the elaborate animal they received and I would share that my towel animal was either unrecognizable or something really stupid. 

For example on the night we left Grand Cayman, I got what I assume was a Sting Ray - a towel folded into a square and a wash cloth twisted in what appeared to be a 'tail' - totally LAME.  It became a big joke that my attendant must not like me for some reason.  So on the final evening when I saw my animal and wasn't even sure it was an 'animal' I decided to take a picture to share.  Myself, I think it looks like a creature in bondage - but you tell me, what the HELL is this?

 

Heading HOME in the morning!

Cruising day six

Still no Internet and still no contact with the outside world.  THIS is making me insane!  Don't have a clue what my peeps are up to or what's happening in the outside world.  Got a wakeup call about 9:45 am reminding me that we were having a shuffle board contest at 10:00 am and I was already supposed to be there to hand out prizes - CRAP!  Forgot for a minute that I was really working on this trip...

Jumped out of the bed praying the water was back on and luck would have it, it was!  PTL!  After a 30 second shower jumped into my swimsuit and threw on a coverup and hat and dashed to my designated place.  Never having played shuffle board, found myself bored silly and praying they would just hurry up!  After two hours a winner was declared and we all headed to the pool for some R&R and Piña Colada's.  And yes, Tricia, those statues were male and anatomically correct - too fun!

Had a lazy day around the pool then headed into my massage (Yes, that would be TWO massages in one week) praying this one was better than the first.  Turned out to be okay.

By the time it was finished I had to rush to my room to get ready for the Awards Dinner and second formal night.  Did I take a picture with my beautiful dress?  Uh, nope.  Don't ask me why, maybe because I was too busy working.  I think maybe someone else got a shot of it, will keep my fingers crossed because even though it was out of my comfort zone, it looked really cute.  (If I say so myself.)

After dinner we headed to the dance club again but I just wasn't feeling it.  I think I was danced out.  Headed to my room and was sound asleep by 11:00, party pooper!

Cruising Day Five

We arrived in Jamaica around 9:00 am and headed off on our day trip to Negril Beach.  Not sure if any of you have ever been to Jamaica, but I have to tell you it was NASTY and extremely depressing.  I thought I had seen some harsh poverty in the many times that I have visited different areas of Mexico, but this place topped them all.  There was nothing pretty about this place, nothing.

We hired a private bus and tour guide to take us to Negril which was about an hour and half drive, the sights were so depressing.  We were traveling to Margaritaville in Negril and before we arrived we were given strict instructions on NOT walking anywhere alone, NOT leaving the fenced in area of the beach and NOT purchasing anything from ANYONE without our guide next to our side.  Talk about stress!  We were all too petrified to have a good time.

We did manage to get a big kick out of one of the  ladies in our group when she smelled a 'skunk.'  Uh, hello, that would be some Mary Jane fumes my dear!  Too funny!  Never would have crossed this old hippy chick that not everyone had smelled that before!

The lunch at Margaritaville was the WORST meal I had by far and I actually spit the first bite of my burger into my napkin and decided I would wait to eat until we got back on the boat.  Definitely thinking that was NOT beef... The tour guide never let any of us out of her sight.

After lunch we went to the local shopping area where we were again given STRICT instructions not to leave the tour guide's side AT ALL.  Of course we didn't listen and all veered off into other shops and she was freaking out.  All in all, not a very good time.  Had camera with me but managed not to take a single pic - too stressed.

Once back on board had a short catnap until it was time to dress for dinner.  The dress chosen for the evening definitely needed the Spanx but after stuffing my face, yet again, I had to actually go change into another dress so I could let it all hang out, my fat that is.  Somehow managed to not get a picture of either one! Ugh!

Went dancing again, and had the BEST time ever.  Much more of this and I will definitely need double hip replacement!  After dancing until 2:00 am and sweating like a stuck pig, made it back to my room to discover that we had no water OR air and would not have any until around 6:00 am.  EEEWWWW!  Had to try to sleep without showering or taking makeup off, with just the breeze from the ocean to cool off, NASTY!  The good news, no stopping anywhere the following morning so I could sleep as late as I wanted to!

Cruising Day four

Still no Internet access which is starting to piss me off.  Very strange having no contact with the outside world.  Getting off the boat in Grand Cayman was awe striking, one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.  Definitely somewhere I would go back to.

Today's excursion to see the Sting Ray's was probably the coolest thing I've ever seen, too bad I didn't have the nerve to actually get in the water and play like most of the others.  Call me a wussy but had no desire to swim with sea creatures.  Did manage to take some pictures though from my perch on the boat:

The trip out to this site was about a half hour but our small group had a pretty good time.  After swimming with the Sting Rays our captain took for a cruise along the Great Barrier Reef.  Very scary that you could stand in the water on one side and the drop off on the other side was more than 600 feet!  Beautiful!

Once back from our little excursion we had lunch at the Hard Rock Cafe before heading off for shopping and then back to the ship for a little nap time before another evening out.

After dinner we went to the Magic Show which was probably the BEST magic show I have ever seen.  The Cruise Director started the show teaching us all some new dance moves like 'The Lawnmower", "The Seat Belt" and the "Airplane Exit" - we could not wait to get to the dance club and try out all of our new moves.  And THAT we did!

Kat gets her groove on again...

Made it to bed at an early 1:00 am since we had an early excursion to Negril Beach in Jamaica the following morning.

Cruising Day Three

Day Three

I awoke to discover that we had arrived in Cozumel and after another wonderful morning of drinking my pot of java on the balcony and enjoying the view, I managed to get myself ready for our group excursion.

I readily admit that I was dreading this day because our entire group of 40 was going together.  However I was pleasantly surprised that we had a good time.

We went on an Eco Tour of the island in a caravan of Jeeps and not only was it beautiful but very relaxing.  We had a few stops along the way to a private beach where the majority of the group was to snorkel.  Along the way, we saw this:

And these:

Real Live Crocodiles!  It was actually mating season and we had quite an interesting show and learned some interesting things.  It was a beautiful area, quite breathtaking actually, managed to actually use the camera for a few shots:

After laying around on the beach for a few hours we headed back to the ship

  where I was looking forward to my scheduled massage.  After my marathon sleeping session on Day Two I had developed a little crick in my neck and couldn't wait to have it rubbed out.  That is what I get for wishful thinking.  Very disappointed in the massage and even after telling her that my 'troubled spot' was my neck, I don't think she touched it once... UGH!

Had to rush back to my room to get ready for dinner and wasn't quite feeling the love on my outfit, however after a few Cosmo's, I really didn't care:

And after several more Cosmo's got my wild thing on:

Maybe a little too much...

We had a private poker party set up after dinner and to our wonderful surprise, there was a Top 40 dance club right next to our private room.  All the men on the trip sat down to an evening of poker playing while the women decided to get our groove on!  And I did!  And we continued grooving until the wee hour of 2:30 am. After shutting one club down at 1:00 am we headed to another and closed it down.  Yep, Stella got her groove back!

I don't think I have danced that much in many, many years and by the end of the evening (morning, whatever) my body was definitely telling me.  By the time I got to my room and the unknown number of Cosmo's had worn off, not only did my feet hurt but my knees were screaming and my hips were wailing and let's just say a total hip/knee replacement could be in this old lady's future...  BUT, it was a damn good time!

So I am up this early morning of Day Four enjoying my coffee on the balcony typing this and hoping for Internet access today and trying to convince myself to walk my aching body over to the shower to prepare for today's adventure - swimming with stingrays.  And if you believe that I will actually get in the ocean and do that, I have some ocean front property in Arizona to give you...

Cruising Day Two

I will have to admit that Day Two was a perfect day although I am a little disgruntled that the internet access I was promised is a little sketchy...

I feel sorry for all my other fellow cruisers that aren't exactly taking to the cruising on the high seas as well as I am.  Many people seem to be walking around with green shadows on their face but not me, the motion and rocking of the boat are extremely relaxing.

Woke up around 7:00 when my extra large pot of coffee was delivered, had a big cup of java on the balcony watching the vast array of nothing.  The rocking motion made me sleepy so I went back to bed and took a nap until 11:00.  Heaven.

Was forced to get up and go shopping on the promenade  deck finding several great deals, had lunch and was back in my room at 1:00 for an afternoon nap.  Heaven.

Got up around 5:30 to prepare for the first formal evening and got my diva on:

 

Looking hot, yeah?  After dinner we went to the 'Disco' which turned out to be more of a hip-hop/rap kind of joint but we managed to make it until midnight before heading to bed and another blissful night of being rocked to sleep.

Carried my camera around whenever I was out but failed to use it much so sorry but no pics of the color coded singles!

Im' Baaaccckkkk....

Give me a little bit to get my land legs back and I shall share my little adventure. Suffice to say - no internet connection after Day One - but I survived. PS - Fortunately so did all those travelling with me...

cruising day one

So here we go...  Today was an extremely long day and I suffered from excruciating pain from the cute shoes that I was wearing.  But have no fear, no pain, no glory - I toughed it out.  It was a little rough since the temp at home was 30 degrees when I left this morning, but for the sacrifice of fashion, I endured.  Not a really great pic of leaving the dock, but the outfit was THE BOMB:

 

Can't believe they didn't get the shoes!  ARGH! But here they are in all their glory...

 

We boarded the ship way too early and practically froze to death waiting for our 'Muster Lesson.'  Well it could have also been the frozen Piña Colada's that kept it so cold...  Nonetheless we forged on and by the time we went to our 'drill' we were in fine form.  For some strange reason those around us were taking it a whole lot more serious than our group...

Yes we posed for pictures instead of listening to what we were supposed to do in case of an emergency, but honestly I don't really care WHERE I am supposed to be if something happens, it will be to each it's own and my happy ass will be on a dinghy whether I have to push people out of the way or not, just sayin....

Come to find out our cruise is a singles cruise and there is an extremely LARGE group of Singles at Sea and they have the T-shirts to prove it.  Apparently there is also some sort of color coded clothing that indicates whether you are 'single and looking', 'in a relationship' or 'a swinger' - This should be good...  However if I have one more short dude stare directly at my chest for an extended amount of time, it could get ugly...

Didn't get a picture of my cute evening outfit with the really cute shoes that I showed you previously.  I thought about re-enacting it for the good of the blog, but after dancing in those suckers until 1:00 am, I don't think they will be gracing my feet anytime in the near future.

I plan on carrying my camera around more tomorrow, some pretty interesting sites around here that I'd love to share - stay tuned...

Bon Voyage...

Well not exactly, but on Sunday I will be sailing away on the Seven Days in Hell cruise ship and will be way too busy tomorrow to say Bon Voyage...

Busy you say? Well yes, busy because as each day passes I come up with another list of things that I MUST have in order to make the Seven Days in Hell cruise at least tolerable. I think I have gone to one store or another every day this week. Actually probably twice a day, so WHY are there still things missing? Ugh!

But before I sail away and before I make a few more trips to the store, I must celebrate VD with Hubby. No, we are not celebrating having VD, nor do we have VD, we will be celebrating Valentine's Day, geez people!

So how do you think Kat and Hubby will celebrate? Do you think there will be wine and roses? Chocolate and champagne? Whispering sweet nothings to each other?

OH HELL NO, we are going to the AUTO-RAMA-THINGY in friggin DALLAS! GAWD! Of all the things I could ask for or all the things that I could dream of, that is not exactly on the top of the list, but what is a woman in love to do? Suffer, that's what she does, suffer. All in the name of love...

After that exhausting (I mean exciting) adventure I will probably have to come home and put myself in a drug induced coma! Then on Sunday I will have to get up before the ass crack of dawn so that I can make it to the airport by 7:30 to catch my flight. And just where do you think this flight takes off from? Friggin DALLAS! WTF? Is this some kind of karma screw up?

Nevertheless, wishing all of you a Happy Valentine's Day with loads of love where ever you can find it. Hope to post highlights (yeah right) of my trip so you can all share in my Seven Days in Hell trip with me! Keep your fingers crossed that my wireless card works or I may throw myself overboard...

The Unthinkable

In case you haven't figured it out yet, I am a home grown Fort Worth, Texan. True blue, born and bred, full blooded gal from Foat Wuth... Ya'll should also know that I am very proud of this fact. I do have a horrific southern drawl (but only if I want to or don't think before I speak) and it doesn't take anyone long to figure out where I'm from. Yep, the voice gives it away and everyone knows where I hatched from.

One thing you might not know about us Foat Wuthers, we don't do Dallas. Going to Dallas is a like a road trip, you have to pack your bags and drive across the river. There's traffic and too many people and they aren't laid back like we are over on this side of the river. I mean it takes like 30 minutes to an HOUR to get over there - geesh!

I do have some relatives from Dallas, they are kind of uppity (and I secretly love them, don't tell anyone around here though). My little sister moved to one of those Dallas suburbs up north and I refuse to visit her even though she has those two babies that I just adore. And at least once a year Hubby talks me into to going to some event over there and I begrudgingly accompany him.

I am currently in a quandary however because C2 has done the UNTHINKABLE. He is moving to Dallas. Not just Dallas, but downtown Dallas. In the heart of the entire city! My heart is broken, I am devastated, I may have to take to my bed. Actually I am so distraught I can't even talk about it any more...

The Longest Day in History

I woke up.

The Day drug on and on and on and on and on and on.

The clock ticked slower and slower and slower.

Until finally I could take no more of the longest, most boring day in history of the world.

The End.

And Then There Was... The Flu

Well the big dinner and meeting of THE GIRL didn't happen tonight, it appears she is down with the flu. That's okay I put a good foot forward and sent medicine and soup over with C1, nothing like a little good intention. Hubby said he thought it smelled more of intimidation...

Worked out okay for me, I used the day for a lazy, do nothing, take a long nap day instead of stressing out and getting my Diva on. So now we will have to wait and see if there is a next time...

The Girl

C1 has been dating THE GIRL for several months now and yet I have not met her. He's talked about her and I know he's met her parents. He has even introduced her to one of my nieces and she has given her approval, but still five months later, no introduction to the parents.

I actually understand this seeing as he has brought home A GIRL just two times before and within the week of my meeting them, the relationship was over. Coincidence? Surely it wasn't me...

Believe it or not, as much as I love my boys, I've never been comfortable with the female companion thing. It's not that I think that no girl is good enough for my son, it really isn't. It's more of my own discomfort with the whole thing and how I'm supposed to act. I let my hair down once, you may recall the She-Devil, and not only did that whole disaster break C2's heart, it broke mine.

I've known THE GIRL'S first name since the beginning but have only recently learned her last name. Blunder on C1's part in forwarding an email of pictures to me. Thankfully, after the detective searching of my good (and obviously more computer savvy) friends, there were no google hits or anything bad found. Well except that pouty picture thing on Facebook...

I've seen her picture, I think she's cute. She's a brunette and not a blonde, which is good since we know how I feel about blonde girlfriends (think She-Devil again). I have even teased C1 about contacting her myself for a little one-on-one meeting, but I didn't really mean it. I've wondered about her a little bit but haven't dwelled on it and even though some people think it should hurt my feelings that he hasn't brought her around, it really doesn't. I've really been okay with not meeting her and quite honestly I haven't even said her real name out loud, I refer to her as THE GIRL. Kind of like the PORN STAR, still don't recall what her actual name was?

So where am I actually going with all of this? Well... C1 called today and has requested the honor of Hubby and I's presence this Saturday evening at a dinner date with him and THE GIRL. GAWWWWDDDDD!

Shouldn't it be HER with a stomach all in knots, dreading the 'interview' and long, silent pauses? WHY is it ME? GAWWWWWDDDD....

Because I'm bored and a few of you asked...

I know that I should be thankful that I work for a company that gives so much to it's staff and sales people by sending us on a luxurious cruise, and I am.  But honestly these trips are not fun, it's work and I have to be "ON" at all times and the 4-5 day trips are hard enough, but at least we've never been stuck on a boat together before.  I have gone on a 4 day cruise before with my BFF, by day TWO I had enough of the boat (and the BFF) and barely made it to the end without jumping overboard.  SEVEN DAYS and SEVEN NIGHTS is a LONG TIME.  I was happy to have learned this week that I will have both internet and cell phone access during this time so it is possible that I might surprise myself and not kill anyone.  Lucky you, I am sure I will be spending an inordinate amount of time blogging about the great adventure...

So a few of you asked about the outfit for the SHOES...  Actually there wasn't an outfit, but a really cute shirt that I found at Target of all places:

My original thought was to get a pair of black slacks to wear with this shirt but then I discovered the SHOES, and they matched so well but had brown in them, not black, that I am rethinking this and now need white pants.  See how well these match:

 

So before going shopping again, I went through my closet to see what all I had to take on the cruise and I discovered that the SHOES also match these outfits:

Brown Strapless Dress

and dress bought and never worn...

So since I am bored I thought I'd also share one of my 'formal' dresses that I am actually really impressed with, mainly because I got it for $49!  The extremely cute and MATCHING shoes cost more than that I am ashamed to say...

 

This dress is a little bit out of my comfort zone and I will have to pull out the spanx, but the matching shoes were too cool to pass up.

See what boredom does for me?

Where does the time go?

I can't believe that it has been 10 days since I had time to blog or go blog walking, where did the time go? I could say that time flies when you're having fun but I don't really recall having a whole lot of fun lately...


Work is overwhelming at the moment which given the current economy, is a good thing for me, right? Got caught up on a bunch of stuff yesterday since we had a snow day. Well a snow day for Texas is more like an ice day and pretty sure that nowhere else in America stops for such things, but we are Texans and we don't actually know what to do with such stuff. I enjoyed HALF of my snow day until the Big Guy called and really needed me to do some things at the office...


Nothing much else is happening, that I can recall at least. C1 had the grand opening and ribbon cutting at his gym last week. I was a very proud mama at that event. C2 still struggles with some issues but has been released for 'light duty' and against my deepest wishes, has returned to working for his father giving up the opportunity and the golden ticket of a college education. C3 keeps growing and is probably the tallest member of the family - weird. He has begun working out in anticipation of football season foregoing basketball and track this year and he has 'guns.' For those of you not surrounded on a daily basis with the male species, these are muscular arms...


I've been shopping like a mad dog looking for stupid 'formal' attire for the stupid cruise that I am being forced to go on for seven days in a couple of weeks. Doesn't being forced to spend 7 days and 7 nights stuck on a ship with your fellow employees and agents sound like a good time? NOT. I am dreading this on multiple levels. I will say that I have found some really great deals and some really cool shoes. Here is my favorite pair...


That, my friends, is all I've got...

Pride

Over at Jane!'s she asked an interesting question, "How do you feel today?"

Thought I'd share my comment because this is really how I am feeling today:

"PROUD. A part of history in action. Years down the road when people ask where I was I will remember this day along with countless others, including but not limited to, the end of the V war, Elvis' death, the Challenger exploding, 9-11 and now this, the first black President of the United States. PROUD."

Even if that meant I had to secretly watch as much as I could online while my assistant was my watchdog. I hope my dvr worked at home...

Is today Monday?

I'm not usually a person that succumbs to the Monday blues or wishes that we could just skip this particular day of the week. But today, today I needed a do-over.

We started the day with a little, shall we say, constitution issue. Okay, so I made fried catfish for dinner last night and we don't generally eat fried food so I could understand this, however it was a little inconvenient and frankly uncomfortable.

My first phone call of the work day was from the Big Guy, my boss, whom happened to be in a foul mood, and subsequently ended with him getting, shall we say pissy, with me because I didn't think we could fit 27 people in a room with the capacity of, say 10 people, for a big meeting on Friday. The end result was him telling me he would come in and figure it out himself...

So as any good employee would do, I went about trying to PROVE that I could not fit 27 people in that room by moving every chair in the building, with the exception of the chairs that had actual people sitting in, into said room and discovered that I COULD fit 28 chairs into that room although there was no room to sit in said chairs nor walk into said room...

It was really turning into a wonderful day when said boss man's wife came in and decided to share her displeasure with my "trying to prove a point" and actually frightening my assistant into a stupor (which, sadly, is actually as easy as saying BOO!, but...). Technically I guess boss man's wife is also technically my boss, so like any good employee would do, I kept my mouth shut. Even the second time she came back to voice her displeasure, I held my tongue.

So after that fun part of the morning AND getting said boss man to agree with me that we needed to secure a meeting room of proportional size, I left for lunch and to practice some breathing exercises and drove to Taco Bell for some comfort food.

Drive all the way over there, wait in line, give the girl $20.32 for my $4.32 taco meal. She announces to nobody in particular (as far as I could tell) that she has no one's and I sit there looking at my tea thinking, "It would be nice if you just hand me the tea, I’d like a drink', as she counts the coins in her cash drawer. Finally, she has pity on me and hands me my tea. She walks away and yells at the manager that she owes me $1 and he then proceeds to walk to the window and hands me $1. I say no, she actually owes me $16 because I gave her $20.32 and after a long discussion I get my additional $15.

Driving back to the office said boss man's wife calls and asks if I’ll pick up something for the Big Guy since she had to leave to run errands. Call the office tell the receptionist to tell the Big Guy that I just went through Taco Bell but could go back or anywhere else he’d like. While holding on the phone and getting close to the office I pull in a parking lot to avoid driving all the way back when she comes back on the line and tells me that he does not want me to worry about it.

Drive back to the office, park my car, grab my purse, my drink and discover THEY DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY DAMN FOOD!

To keep from boring you with my MONDAY SUCKED story in further detail, I believe that it's suffice to say that my MONDAY SUCKED and end this sad tale now...

There is a good reason for hiring contractors

My bedroom is ALMOST completed, actually it SHOULD have been completed Wednesday but the countertop guys didn't show up until yesterday. Was SO excited to have the 'last' piece in place so that I could reveal the results, but needless to say they screwed up some stuff and I have to fix it to my satisfaction. That and the fact that Hubby said he "could handle the plumbing and shower door installation."

The shower door came in last Friday and we picked it up on Saturday. Really looking forward to trying out the new shower, this is what was done on Sunday:

Then he was too 'tired' to finish it and said the glue had to dry. So on Monday, he got this accomplished:

THAT, my friends, is a drilled hole for the shower door brace. A drilled hole, as in ONE hole, when 7 more are needed. Then he got 'tired' again. So since then, this is what my shower looks like:

So no showering in the new shower one week later... AND no water in the sinks since yesterday. That would be because they had to turn the water off and take the old sinks out to install the new countertop and sinks and Hubby said it was no problem hooking it back up "that will only take a minute or two to do..."

Of course he didn't have all the 'parts' he needed so no water last night. Went tonight to get the 'parts' and came home and guess what? He was too 'tired' to do it and went to bed. So yes we are washing the dishes, our faces and brushing our teeth in the kitchen like a bunch of hicks from Hicksville.

There is a GOOD reason why I hire contractors to do my home improvement projects...

I am a total slacker and other reasons I suck...

The New Year is supposed to bring new changes to one's life and one is supposed to make resolutions to become a better person in the New Year, etc., so forth and bullshit...

In my annual "I don't do resolutions, but will work on being a better person" evaluation of myself, I have decided that I am just plain and simple a total slacker and I suck. Don't try to argue with me nor give me any pep talks, I'm really not looking for that. I am just simply telling the truth as only a true blue slacker can.

I've been slacking in many areas, not just posting insightful and meaningful blogs (like THAT ever happens) or keeping up with all of my blog buddies, but in all sorts of ways. Actually I don't know if SLACKER is the proper term her, maybe it's more of I AM A MIDDLE-AGED, TURNING FRUMPING, LAZY ASS WHITE WOMAN, however slacker is much shorter to type, yet another example of my laziness...

I really wish that I could say that I am totally overwhelmed with life and that I just have so much on my plate that I have shut down mentally, but honestly life is really easy right now. Yes, I'm knocking on wood and crossing myself and all of that crap because I said this out loud. I keep hoping that this is God's little way of rewarding me for all the hell and crap that I have gone through in my life or maybe it is just I have finally become 'settled.'

With my track record I know this may not (okay it WON'T) last forever and one would think that I should be savoring the calm between the storms and just go with it. But no, instead of enjoying this time I have begun internally fretting over why if life is so good right now then why am I not taking the bull by the horns and enjoying it? Why instead have I become a slacker and decided to sit on the sidelines instead of rejoicing in the freedom? Because I suck.

I suck at enjoying the good things in life. Even though we still have one child at home, he is the easiet (and sweetest) child we have and I'm not constantly running here or there helping him chase his dreams. Work is good, things are running fairly smoothly and I have the ability to pretty much set my own hours and once I leave at 5:00 I turn my 'work brain' off and I don't think about it until the following morning when I come in again. I've climbed the ladder to that spot I've always dreamed of and I feel secure and safe. After years and years of financial struggles, we are finally in a place where we have what we need and want and still have some left over to use for enjoyment instead of living in fear of how we are going to make it another day or week. Hubby and I have settled into that perfect harmony of two souls destined to be together forever. Sure we still have our squabbles, that's part of our schtick, but we are finally on the same page at the same time.

So why all this internal discontent? Why can't I get up off my lazy, slacking ass? Why can't I accomplish the simple day to day goals I set for myself? I wanted to begin this New Year with a healthy attitude, a healthy mind, body and spirit, but I just find myself sitting on the sidelines and watching it go by, well actually I find myself sitting on the couch watching The Biggest Loser, crying, eating eskimo pies and thinking that I am such a slacker and I suck...

Enough Awards Already

Catching up on a whole week worth of blog reading I discovered that I got a damn award from the wonderful Mrs. K! and apparently I must share it and pass it on...so here goes:

For this award I must list five addictions (Please NOTE I have given this MUCH thought):

1. Eskimo Pies
2. The Biggest Loser (Yes I was watching and yes I was saying HOLY SHIT!)

3. Diamonds

4. 800 count sheets

5. Tylenol PM

Ok so now I must pass it on...since Mrs. K didn't share the rules because SHE FORGOT THEM, I guess I am supposed to share this SO, I give this to the following women:

Hawkeye Chick

Sarah

Jane!

June Cleaver Clone

and anyone else that wants a damn award...

Quick Update

Yes I have been MIA and no, I don't really have a good excuse except maybe, well life. Here's a quick update to keep you on your toes:

• NYE - began cleaning up the mess from the construction that is 90% complete. Watched 'The Women' - loved it! Highly recommend it. Never realized that the new year had started until C3 came out of his room at around 12:15 and told me "Happy New Year."
• New Year's Day - continued cleaning up the mess.
• Friday - carpet was installed, men folk went to Cotton Bowl, spent blissful afternoon alone shopping for accessories for new bathroom.
• Saturday - continued cleaning up mess and installing stuff. Painted OLD, UGLY mirrors from bathroom and was pretty impressed with my handy work (ignore ugly countertops, still waitng on those to be replaced):

• Sunday - more cleanup of mess...
• Monday - WORK - begin playing catch up after missing practically two weeks.
• Tuesday - WORK - beginning to KICK MY ASS. Watch Biggest Loser - not so sure I am happy with the little turn of events in this season premiere...
• Wednesday - MORE WORK - received RAISE - does this mean I have to now WORK HARDER?
• Thursday - WORK REALLY HARD - try to squash feelings of becoming serial killer and eliminating entire staff...
• Friday - TGIF, bring on 1:30 so I can have a break...

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